The Ambiguous 40
- Gail Buan
- Oct 20, 2019
- 5 min read
Updated: Nov 6, 2019
Age is just a number
Age is just a number, so they say. Take for instance the big 4-0! You go to bed one night and wake up the next, then bam, you’ve reached the age of no return. While you hover over the vanity mirror looking for telltale signs of your true age, the creepy background theme song of the hit American horror series Twilight Zone plays at the back of your mind. Days seem shorter, time feels to be moving strangely fast and the clock just keeps ticking. With a deep sigh you sit back, look at the sky and ask yourself, where did time fly?
The Ugly Truth about being 40
Forty is a time of refutation and convolution, a mixture of life’s intricacies. It is realizing in deep ways that these are the days of questioning all the decisions you‘ve made, the choices you’ve gambled on, the risks you took, your hits and misses, and realizing that life is indeed short. It is when the terrifying reality dawns on you that yes, THIS IS LIFE!
Forty is when you frantically search for your journal and browse over your bucket list only to find out that you still have a myriad of things undone--then the sad reality hits you like a wrecking ball that even if you want to learn how to surf and ride the waves of Siargao, your knees are too sore because you are 20 pounds off the scale.
Forty is being invited to a sheer all-white beach wedding theme and rummaging through your closet only to find out that your wardrobe consists mainly of monotone black. Black becomes your favorite color to hide those unsightly bulges that life has rewarded you from all those years of being a couch potato and junk food late-night binges. Black becomes your refuge from all those scrutinizing eyes that prey on you. This is the perfect time that you would want to kick yourself for not believing (early on in life) in the phrase “A moment on the lips, forever on the hips!”
Forty is being painfully busy cooking, doing the laundry, ironing, cleaning the house and all those domestic chores to make the home sweet home you have always pictured in your mind when you were still young and didn’t know any better. Oftentimes, you could have made yourself believe that you were born to be in the circus because you have mastered the art of juggling.
Forty is learning to unlearn all the things you know because most of them are obsolete. Typewriters are now called keyboards and they surprisingly come with a mouse, too! The television is now smarter than you, the number sign is now a hashtag, you now know that having an email address is more important than your home address when applying for a job, and oh, did you click LOL or LIKE on your mother-in-law’s Facebook post?
Forty is saving your energy for the things that matter the most, like being able to wake up at 7am to drive your kids to school when in fact you just hit the sack at 5am because you have insomnia. It is wanting to be involved in your kids education and social activities and that means allotting a whole lot of time in helping them do their homework where you would mostly need the help of trustee Mr. Google. It is having the strength to manage 50 flights of stairs to visit your ailing aunt in the hospital who is trying to fight the big C. it is reserving your sanity to be able to stop yourself from lunging at your boss from all those impossible tasks assigned to you who by the way thinks that you are Super Girl.
Forty is your body changing without your permission, regardless of the amount of time you attend your yoga and zumba classes. Your morning runs become morning walks, and you find delight watching an afternoon soap where you despise Daniela’s cruelty to underdog Romina.
Life begins at 40!
Life begins at forty, this maxim holds true and often said as an encouragement to those reaching middle age who obviously might be getting fed up with life despite all efforts to progress in life.
Forty is answering the question, “Is this all there is to life” with a resounding YES! True, middle age is that time in your life when you finally get your head together and then your body starts to fall apart.
However, let being forty not deter you from the fabulous years ahead that life has yet to surprise you with. Let us pay homage to some of the powerful and fabulous women of our times who believed that age is truly just a number.
Julia Carolyn Child was an American chef, author and television personality. She is recognized for bringing French cuisine to the American public with her debut cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and her subsequent television programs, the most notable of which was The French Chef. Julia Child didn’t know how to cook until she was 36 years old. Her first TV show aired when she was 40.
Lucille Désirée Ball was an American actress, comedian, model, entertainment studio executive and producer. She was the star of the self-produced sitcoms I Love Lucy, The Lucy Show, Here's Lucy, and Life with Lucy, as well as comedy television specials aired under the title The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour. Lucille Ball was 40 years old when the first episode of I Love Lucy aired.
Vera Ellen Wang was born and raised in New York City, and is of Chinese descent. She was a competitive figure skater. In 1968 and ’69 Vera and her skating partner won U.S. National Championships. In 2009, she was even inducted into the U.S. Figure Skating Hall of Fame. She graduated with a degree in art history, but Vera had decided to focus on fashion. She began working for Vogue shortly after graduation, eventually moving on to accessories design director at Ralph Lauren. Vera Wang had never designed a wedding dress until she found herself getting married at the age of 40.
Viola Davis is an American actress and producer. Having won an Academy Award, an Emmy Award, and two Tony Awards, she is the first black actress to achieve the Triple Crown of Acting. Time magazine named her one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2012 and 2017. She started appearing on television with small roles, but it wasn’t until her part in the film “Doubt” that catapulted her career to stardom at the age of 43.
40 and Fabulous
To sum it all up, Forty is realizing that you do not need to blow 40 birthday candles to know that you have entered a new phase in your life. It is understanding that you have to grab hold of what makes you happy and what makes you feel alive. Do not limit yourself from reveling to life’s bittersweet moments, after all, in life no one makes it out alive!
May we all feel what Jennifer Aniston felt when she turned 40, to quote “Being this side of 40 feels like what I should have felt being this side of 25: in my body, in my heart, happy with my life, and OK with whatever bumps in the road present themselves.”
So, here’s to all the 40 and fabulous women out there! Cheers!
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